January 2012
8 posts
How to be good at anything
I’m going to tell you how to be good at any given profession, and then I’m going to watch as you continue to be mediocre at everything. Ahem.
If you wanna be good at business, look at everything that happens in your life and think, “how can I make money from this?”
If you wanna be a good comedian, look at everything that happens to you and ask yourself, “is there...
Shovelling snow is like sex...
My brother posted this:
Earl and I riffed on over IM later, and here’s a bunch more that we came up with. Ahem.
Shovelling snow is like sex…
…no matter how careful I am, my socks still get wet.
…I always need a shower afterwards.
…it’s hard on the wrists if you’re doing it yourself.
…if you marry the right guy you’ll never have to do it...
Hang out on the floor more
My new apartment (which sucks) came with those fake wood floors (which suck.) The fake thing I’m totally cool with, but wood? On the floor? C’mon!!
So to lessen the sting of the hard floor I bought a fluffy rug. Fluffy? Um. Shaggy! (It wasn’t me.) It’s a giant thick rug anyway. I would still prefer wall-to-wall-to-ceiling carpeting, but this rug is sweet. And though not...
Anonymous asked: "Holy monkey balls:" Where and when did you learn this expression, Angus, and who else uses it? Graham.
Anonymous asked: Did Scott Adams ghost-write your last post?
I don't want a great Facebook app, I want a great...
I’m about to tell you what’s wrong with the internet. You might wanna get an adult beverage, cause this is gonna be somethin’. Seriously, years from you’re gonna look back and be like, “well what do you know, that ugly bastard was right.”
Alright, here’s the problem: everyone is making amazing specialized-task apps that everyone can use.
What they should...
Holy monkey balls, I have 50 goals for 2012
Fifty goals! That’s like more goals than have been scored in every football match throughout human history.
To make the list more readable, Imma toss in some weird pictures from 2011 I found while dumping my phone pics this morning.
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1. Sit in an orange chair.
2. Do 10 stand-up sets in at least two different venues.
3. Go to a place which I’ve never been, stay at least a...